February is a special month, with attention on building relationships and holding on to what is near and dear, to us all. I depend on a couple of rules for communication that are tried and true.
I first learned from my oldest son, five years old at the time. He’s a talker and I was not used to that, so I went about my chores and he would follow me chattering away. One day, he stopped right in the middle of the kitchen floor, put his little arms on his hips and glared at me while he said, “I’m going to wait till your eyes are on me!” Whoa! I stopped and gave him my whole attention to hear what he had to say. Being surprised, I did not even think to have a comment ready. I learned, the purest form of the golden rule is to listen.
Years later, I said almost the same to my husband who would start out by listening to me and then wander off. When I called to him, he said, “I can hear you.” I was hurt and could not understand how he could do that so I said, “I need you to look at me when I’m talking.” “Well” he said, “When you need me to do that come and pull on my shirt.”
Now as I write this I am remembering how often my mother would say, “Look at me when I’m talking to you.” I did the same to my children. Therefore, those words might not be the same to say to your husband.
The purest form, ‘the golden rule’, is to simply receive and understand what the person you are talking to is saying, and just as important, to understand their meaning before commenting.
When someone speaks to us, consider it a gift to open and understood before commenting.
I would like to invite you to provide feedback and comment below! Thank you.